The Beginning of the End.... or the End of the Beginning?

It had been 207 days since the Great Prophet Hawik had left and the High Priestess was growing concerned. The Fae appeared to have lost their way somewhat and, although the occassional cry of "corn" could still be heard sometimes (closely followed by a retort of "butter? uwu"), it very much seemed that they had grown weary and distant over time. As was often the way in times of loss and sadness, the golden stalks that used to grace the federation now wilted under the pressure of "maintaining a good front" and it seemed it would take a monsoon of aether to perk them all up again.

Both her and Lavi had been absent of late and had returned home to find that the fae they once known so well, and for so long, had drifted and been replaced by what appeared to be a rabble of unknown (although indeed fae-like) miscreants running the halls of the Federation.*

*miscreants running the halls of the federation was, of course, nothing new. But Lavi and Fen generally knew the names of said miscreants at the very least.

"But who are they?" Screeched Lavi, desperately trying to be heard over the cacophony "And where on Hydaelyn did they all come from??" Fen sighed and turned to Lavi "Well, if you will insist on leaving the door open..." "But they're alwys running off and forgetting their keys, I didn't want anyone getting locked out while we were away" Lavi said. "My goodness, Fen, I swear you'd have them all living in the garden if you had your way." Fen shrugged. She saw no issues with living in the garden, surrounded by nature, was good for the soul, buildings were just so... unnatural. She picked up her broom and started trying to herd them out the door. It reminded her of that one time she'd fought Leviathan and spent half the night chasing Vyx and the rest of her teammates around the arena trying to escape some rather unpleasant and slighty soggy balls that had adhered to her. She hadn't quite been able to enjoy the colour blue since, and she was quite certain Vyx would never be caught within a ten yalm radius of her ever again.

"OMG Lavi, GET THEM OFF ME!!" She squealed, desperately trying to remove a stray lalafell from her boot. "Where's Momo? This one's a biter!!" "What are you doing? You can't just kick them all out!" Said Lavi, collaring the lalafell and inspecting it at arm's length before patting it on the head and releasing it back unto the wild of the Wisteria Palace. "Just you watch me!" Said Fen through gritted teeth, eyeing up the lalafell that was now eyeing her up from behind one of the marble pillars. "Nope. Nope. That's not how we do things here, Fen, and you know it. Everyone deserves a chance!" Fen sighed and put down her broom "Fine, ok, yes, you're right, I just..." she waved her arms around vaguely "where do we even begin??" Lavi grinned. "Well, I say we start at the end!"

"THA GREAT CULL" Fen and Lavi stared at the announcement draft on the desk before them, both looking decidedly pensive. "I dunno" said Fen "do you think it's perhaps a little... aggressive sounding?" "Hmmm" Lavi frowned and chewed on his ink pen before scribbling out the angry looking words. He was starting to look as if he'd been at Fen's weird mushrooms again and she wondered if she'd remembered to lock the cabinet. She handed him a cloth and smiled as she watched him wipe the ink from his lips. Their creation process was always messy, to any onlookers they probably appeared quite mad when they were in the throes of a big idea and, I mean, maybe they were, but mostly it worked in their favour.

"It is, but will they even pay attention if they don't feel their lives are at stake? You know what most of them are like, they're so battle hardened they wouldn't know fear if it came to them in the shape of a giant flaming corn cob and bonked them on the nose." As they stood mulling things over and considering the unpleasant notion of less dramatic language, they both became aware of what could only be described as a crumble emanating from the corner of the room. Turning in unison, their eyes befell the not-unusual sight of a tiny lalafell with a mouth full of cornbread tucked inside the bookshelves. "Is that one of yours, Fen?" Lavi quietly whispered to Fen, not averting his eyes from the potential threat before him. "Never seen it before" Fen whispered back, slowly reaching for her broom. The lalafell's eyes widened sharply and it threw something at the pair of them before scurrying out the door of The Crystal Maize, leaving a trail of breadcrumbs in its wake.

Lavi reached down and picked up a dirty, and slightly buttery, envelope off the floor and inspected it closely before flicking it open and removing its contents. It appeared to be a... telegram of sorts.

BIG BOSS STOP SEND HELP STOP BRING CORN STOP MUCH BUTTER STOP MANY UWU STOP

Fen peered over Lavi's shoulder at the note. "That looks like Craw's handwriting" she said "Hang on a minute! Those tooth marks around the edge are co-ordinates! That's that big old monster Craw's been after forever!!" Lavi grinned and gave an excited shout "Then I guess it's time to rally tha troops!"

Craw looked at the great beast that stood before him. His tiny potat form a mighty speck upon the creature's horizon. He turned to Fen and Lavi and then looked back at his prey. "Are more people coming?" He enquired. Lavi looked around and fumbled once again with his linkshell. "They should have been here by now...." he muttered "FAE ASSEMBLE!!"

Fen looked up at the clear skies and shouted to Lavi as she saw Q'atla, Aben, and Talitha come hurtling towards them, closely followed by Yin. "Are we too late?" Aben asked, looking around for what appeared to be a very absent throng of Fae. Craw pointed to the mark across the way "Do you think we can take him?" Talitha drew their sword and started running "Time to find out!" they cried!

The battle was long and arduous but amongst cries of "BUTTER ME UP LADS, I'M GOING IN" and a few screeches of laughter as Yin jumped evasively in entirely the wrong direction, the mighty contender indeed fell. Wiping the sweat from their brows and the dirt from their knees, the small group of Fae all sat down to snack on the tasty cornbread that was always on hand when Fen was about. Craw polished his off and gave a contented sigh before before announcing that he must leave. Bowing most courteously to Fen, he jumped on his chocobo and was gone in a flash.

Aben looked at Fen, somewhat concerned "So what's going on, Sis, where is everyone? I remember a time where if someone shouted FAE ASSEMBLE, before you knew it there'd be a sea of Fae flooding the area!" Fen sighed and picked at the crumbs that had fallen in her lap "I don't know," she said "everyone just seems so.... distant, and lost at the moment. And that's partly on us, life gets in the way sometimes y'know, but I dunno, there must be some way to get the Fae back together." "Of course there is, Sis, there always is!" Aben smiled and patted Fen on the shoulder "Don't you worry, I have Faeth in you, the Corn Gods saw fit to bless us with one another, they shall see that there's enough butter to get things golden again."

Back at The Crystal Maize, Lavi and Fen once again pondered over their announcement. "Well, we'll go with that and see where it gets us, and I'll organise a few events to get people mingling, and maybe we'll make some new friends and things won't need to get too drastic" said Fen. "INCOMIIIIIIING!!!" The door of the house crashed open and in flew what could only be described as a very dishevilled, espresso fuelled ball of.. well.... Yin. They barrelled into the side of Fen's bookshelf, leapt into the air and landed with their tiny fists perched on their hips at Fen's feet staring up with their glazed eyes wide doing their best to convey the importance of their arrival with an aura of angery potat. "Mira ded on tha lawn again Ma". "Again??" Lavi tutted and made a beeline for the door "I'll go get this posted, Fen, you go drag Mira's arse off the lawn and tell her we need her and she's not to stay dead" he shook his head, chuckled, vanished. Fen really was pleased that Lavi had found a quicker way to get around but my word did it make her head spin.

Mira was indeed sprawled in her usual spot, which was not in the vegetable patch where she'd been asked to rest her corpse should she feel the need to blow herself up... again. Her face was even whiter than usual and Fen could see that she'd already refused 2 rezzes from passing Fae. She nudged Mira's prone form with her toe and shouted "OI!". Mira grunted "I'm not getting up, am comfy, let me die in peace uwu." Fen sighed but before she could give a scathing retort she was suddenly overwhelmed by crackling in her head. Clutching her forehead, she sank to her knees and Mira's deadened eyes gave a quick spark as she watched Fen lose consciousness.

See..... Hear..... Think....... CORN

Fen sat up with a start. Lavi was hovering over her with a confused and highly concerned look on his face "You ok there, hun?" She looked around wondering how the corn she came to be laid out on a couch in Wisteria Palace, Mira was staring at her from the corner of the room "What on earth have you been smoking this time Fen?" she asked "Whatever it was... can I haz plz?"

"I....." Fen shook her head and blinked, as the brain fog cleared she grinned and screamed "HAWIK!!" She leapt up excitedly flapping her long arms around and bouncing like a small lalafell trying to reach the cookies she kept hidden on the top shelf. "Oh glory days, I hath been visited by our Great Prophet! We must prepare!! BRING THE BUTTER LADS, IT'S TIME TO GET GOLDEN!!"

Mira and Lavi listened intently as Fen described the vision to them in all it's glorious golden glow. She spoke of how Hawik had told her he was expecting to return, she didn't know when and she didn't know that even he knew when but that she just knew that soon, soon their Great Prophet would return. Lavi scratched his chin "Well knock me down with a corncob, Fen, what wonderful news, the Corn Gods have indeed blessed us this day. But what are we gonna do about all this?" He waved towards the huddle of unknown and dubious Fae that were still loitering in the halls. "I know just what we're going to do" said Fen "We're going to show them tha way, Lavi, we're going to show them tha way of tha Fae."

Yin threw another robe onto the pile that was forming next to the FC chest. "How many more d'you think we're gonna need, bruv?" They asked. "Gods know, Yin, let's just keep going til we run out of mats, better to have too many than not enough!" Fen looked over at Mira who was currently sat in the fireplace baking quite nicely along with the high quality cornbread she was crafting. "I have about 900 cornbread, so you think that will be enough?" Fen laughed, there was never enough cornbread but it was a start at least.

Kitty squeaked "There we go! 7pm tomorrow, we'll all meet up at Hawik's spot in Ul'dah, then make our way down to the sacred tree. Have you got spare robes packed? You know there are always a few needed no matter how well organised we are." Fen patted her overstuffed inventory "I have robes and metallic gold dye aplenty" she smiled. Kitty nodded and ticked something off on her list "and how will we let everyone know it's time? There are so many Fae and they're so hard to keep in touch with!" "Oh, they'll know" Fen grinned "I have the perfect idea."

"A Gold Saucer night?" Momo said "Count me the corn in!!" "UwU" squealed Yin. The Fae were all hanging around the steps of Wisteria Palace shuffling through their Triple Triad cards and trying desperately to build themselves decks that even came close to standing a chance against their latest FC champion Helga. Hope had done her best to guide those that weren't too familiar with the game but it was taking some time for them to all get their heads around it. With Hope showing them the way though, and Helga apparently having hidden talents, they were off to a good start. "I think it sounds fun!" said Hope "I love when we all hang out, it's nice." "That settles it then" said Fen "Keep your eye out Lads for the signal, and when you see it, hit Ul'dah, it's time to Fae tha joint!"

Friday night rolled around and the Fae waited eagerly for this "signal" that Fen had promised. Yin looked around "I don't seeeee anything. I wonder if Ian's heard from her yet." Ian had not, but then he'd been super busy all day sweeping up after people and keeping an eye on things and his day wasn't over yet. "I'm sure she'll turn up soon enough, Yin, you know what she's like, one minute it's I just want some time to myself the next it's BOOM Fen's here haiiiiiiii!! I'm sure you'll know when she's ready to rubble." Yin nodded, Ian could be very quiet but he was also very wise. And he was certainly right about Fen, she was either there or she wasn't, there was never any inbetween. All of a sudden a gasp went up from the many Fae that had been hovering.

<CORN>

"Aaaaaaaaaaah what is happening aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" Sin was chasing his tail in circles and batting crazily at the tag that had appeared above his head "WHAT IS THIS GET IT OFF GET IT OFF I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER!!" Yin looked up and squinted "Wait.. is that.... is that what I think it is??" The tiny lalafell bounced up onto their feet and gave something vaguely resembling a war cry:

"IT'S TIME LADS! THAT'S THE SIGNAL!! IT'S TIME TO GET CORNY! LET'S FKIN GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"