The Summoning...

Fen Fae looked at the tiny figure that stood before her. This was not what she had expected when she'd tried that new summoning ritual. She could have sworn she had pronounced that one particular word correctly but, in hindsight, it did appear that she had, at the very least, gotten the intonation wrong. Regardless, she had definitely succeeded in summoning something so she supposed she ought to.... I don't know.... make it a cup of tea?

Being the High Priestess of an "organization" that revered corn, Fen had seen some rather strange things in her time. But this one? This one took the coffee biscuit. Like, literally, snatched it out of her hand. The creature stared up at her whilst it chomped away, it's wide glassy eyes fixed on her intently, and somewhat threateningly. It seemed curious, but with a very firm undertone of "you're next, lady". Small grumbling sounds accompanied the crumbling of biscuit, as if the coffee were starting its tiny engine, and Fen wondered if caffeine was really the way to go with a being that looked like it already contained enough energy to start the next calamity.

She turned back to her altar and read through her notes to see if she'd missed some key part of the ritual. Gods damn it, she thought as she peered into her cauldron, is that a bombfish spine floating around in there. She picked up her jar of cactuar needles and shook it, squinting as she inspected the contents for imposters. Well, that would explain it. Instead of summoning a lesser corn primal, she'd gone and summoned what could only be described as a lesser cornfed bog goblin. Bombfish spines. Dear lord. How was she going to explain this one to Lavi.

"What in Hydaelyn's name is it?" screeched Lavi, he was grinning ear to ear and clearly excited by the small gremlin that was now peering up at him with its arms outstretched muttering something about dork forces. "Isn't it adorable?" Fen raised an eyebrow in his direction and sighed. I mean, she supposed it was. Once you found a way to put aside the fact that it appeared to be leaving a trail of hexes throughout the land, it was kind of cute. She handed it a piece of cornbread and watched as it scurried off and sat in the fireplace to eat.

The flames engulfed it momentarily and then moved carefully back, creating a cocoon of fire around it, she saw a wicked smile flash across the goblin's face. Even the elements were at this little one's command it would seem. Lavi looked at Fen and tutted "Girl, what did you do? I was expecting a golden sabotender, not... whatever that is." He waved a hand in the vicinity of the fire "I mean, it's great an' all, you did a grand job, but... well, it doesn't exactly radiate that 'stay golden' vibe, does it?" Fen glared at him "Well, you could have done it yourself, you know. I'm not the only level 80 Summoner in the house!" "Oh honey," Lavi smiled that cheeky smile of his "you and me both know I only picked that up for the glams. You're my High Priestess, and I have every faith in you. I'm sure there is a perfectly good reason we have been gifted with this glorious creation. What is it you're always saying?" Fen sighed and looked at her feet "Sometimes things falling apart is actually things falling into place." "Exactly" Lavi cried, "So, c'mon, let's see what it does!"

Limsa was heaving as always. The Miqo'te dancers were beesknees-ing it all over while the local bards strummed away at their instruments. An excessively tall Roegadyn woman proclaimed all cat bois an abomination, and lalafells ran left and right evading unsolicited head pats as they headed for the market board.

Momo looked at the goblin, then looked at Lavi. "What kind of Lalafell d'you call that?" Lavi laughed. "A Lalafell you say. Well, we hadn't even considered that. I suppose it does look a bit like a lalafell now you mention it."

"Well it's not from this world if it is" declared Momo, "I've seen lala the whole worlds over but I've never seen one quite so filled with.... threat." He poked at the goblin. The goblin gave a little grumble, sniffed at Momo's finger, grunted and grinned. It fumbled in its pocket and held out its grubby mit. In its hand sat the finest lump of coke Momo had ever laid eyes on, and those very eyes widened to the size of saucers as he took the coke and turned it over, inspecting it closely and finding not a single impurity upon its surface. "Holy corn" he declared. He looked up at Fen's curious face, "Well, Mama Fen, the Gods have certainly blessed you with butter this fine day. Mmm, blessed you indeed they have."

Momo patted the goblin and chuckled as it gave a little snarl and shot for his ankles. He shook his head and rolled up his trouser leg to reveal an extra woolly sock, the fibers of which the semi-rabid creature was now frantically trying to paw out of its teeth. "Don't mess with the Master, kid" laughed Momo, founding father of the Ankle Biting Association ™.

He turned back to Lavi and Fen. "So, what you lads gonna do with it then?" "Buttered if I know," said Lavi "I think it's kinda cute though. And it's definitely weird enough to be Fae..." Fen glared at him "More children Lavi? May the Gods help me. I do hope you're going to clean up after this one. I already have my hands full." "Well, you summoned it Fen, we can hardly turn our back on it, can we, that wouldn't be very Fae of us at all." Lavi turned to the demon lalafell and looked thoughtfully at it, "I suppose we ought to name it really, we can't just keep calling it... it"

The goblin gave a squeak. Momo looked at it, "what did it just say?" "I have no idea" said Fen, getting down on her hands and knees and leaning in close. The goblin squeaked again, this time more forcefully. "YIN???" screamed Fen "YIN WHAT THE CORN, BRUH??" Yin stared at Fen with an evil grin on their face and once again started on with their dork entreaties. Oh for Hawik's sake, Fen groaned, what had Yin been drinking now?

Two hours later, The Crystal Maize was buzzing with Fae Scholars. N'rikhu poked at the cauldron and watched as bombfish spines and cactuar needles bustled amongst the bubbles as if in a fight for supremacy. He looked at Yin who was, at this particular moment, also stewing in the cauldron, crumbs of cornbread spilling from their stuffed cheeks and peppering the surface of its contents like cursed croutons. "Well," he began, "mistakes were clearly made, and I can certainly see how such a combination would bring forth such a foul fiend..." He yelped as Yin sunk their teeth into his finger and turned to Rairichi who was bent over the desk with her nose firmly buried in a rather ornate looking tome.

"What I want to know is how Yin came to be a potat!" Rai declared, her pale Au Ra features crumpling as she frowned, "And how was Yin summoned anyway? Did you self-detonate again? I swear to Hydaelyn, I shall take that blue soulstone away from you if you don't stop blowing yourself up at every given opportunity!" Yin glared at Rai.

"Diablos!" A small voice piped up. "Diablos!!" Rairichi looked down, Crawseal was tugging on her tail with one hand and waving his codex with the other. An errant mushroom bounced off of Craw's head and Fen marched over towards the cauldron muttering under her breath "why you little...." Yin ducked beneath the simmering broth before the Priestess could collar them, leaving a trail of crumb-filled bubbles in their wake. "I didn't put extra mushrooms in there for you just to have you use them as ammunition!" Fen cried.

The depths of the cauldron rumbled and the eldrich horror that was Yin rose once again, their head adorned with spines and needles. They gave a hefty snort and a tiny mushroom popped out of their nose and hit Fen square in the chest.

"Is Craw right?" Fen demanded "Have you been messing about in Amdapor again? I thought you hated that place!" Yin glared at Fen and waved a bombfish spine around frantically "I shanked 'im bruv, shanked him right inna face innit!" Fen sighed. She supposed that would at least explain how Yin came to be in a state worthy of a summon, now to figure out how their already slight Au Ra build came to be compacted into what could only be described as a concentrated ball of spite.

"Er, Fen?" Kitania tapped her gently on the shoulder. As Fen turned her gaze towards Kitty, she caught a faint glimpse of panic in Yin's eyes which grew as Kitty lifted her arm to point towards a blue bottle lying empty and forlorn on the floor beneath the stove.

"Laviiiiiiiiiiiii" Fen screamed "Is that one of yours??" Lavi swept the bottle up off the floor and inspected it thoroughly. "Nope, not mine!" He said, he sniffed at it and recoiled somewhat, "I don't know what that is." Fen stared pointedly at Yin. Yin sighed and clambered out of the now tepid cauldron. Shaking themselves off like a wet dog, they wandered over to the crowd of curious comrades and sat down in front of Fen's altar. Picking cornbread out of their ears and sweeping stray needles from their arms, they cleared their throat rather loudly and began to recount their lengthy, and mildly disturbing, tale.

"So let me get this straight" Kitania said when Yin had once again fallen silent. "Some bloke you met at The Drummers gave you this magical potion and you drank it, no questions asked?" Yin shrugged, "I asked him if his mother could sew." "Of course you did," snorted Fen. Kitania gave her a sharp look and started again. "I honestly don't know how you lot have survived as long as you have. I mean, you can't just go around accepting random drinks from strangers and expecting things to not go wrong." "Who sez it went wrong?" Yin exclaimed.

"You're a lalafell!" Rairichi screeched "How is that not wrong??" "I AM DEMON POTAT HEAR ME RAWR uwu!!" Yin launched themselves at Rai's ankles and cackled as she ran squealing, dropping her grimoire on Craw's broth stained head in the process. Rairichi hissed at Yin as she picked up her book and patted Craw on the head. "I like this Yin" he piped up and giggled as Yin snarled at him.

Fen rolled her eyes and looked at Lavi. She supposed that since Demon Yin seemed a lot happier in their newfound cryptid skin, this weird summoning may not have been the worst mistake she'd ever made. And knowing that actually her ballsing up a perfectly simple recipe may well have saved Yin from spending eternity in the realm of Diablos made her feel much less bad about things.

Lavi caught her looking at him and grinned "Nothing like a bit of stabby stabby to brighten the day, eh, Fen? What say you and I take Yin for a run around The Wanderers Palace, ain't no time like the present for a bit of the ol' monster shanking!"

He turned to the gang and shouted "OI OI! DEATH TO THE TONBERRY KING!" "DEATH TO THE TONBERRY KING YOU SAY" yelled the demon potat leaping up from the floor and waving a pair of (slightly less)holy fists at Lavi's knees "LESSGOOOOO!!"

Fen groaned and picked up her greatsword. "Ah well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em I guess" she muttered under her breath before joining in the cacophony with a cry of "ALRIGHT LADS, WHO'S UP FOR PUDDING?"

As the Fae took up arms and prepared for battle, Lavi strolled over and put his arm around her shoulders. "Well Fen," he chuckled, "you may not have succeeded in summoning a corn primal today, but my goodness aren't things looking decidedly golden nonetheless?" The gang cheered loudly, their fairies flying around their heads in a shimmering swarm and Fen laughed. Cries of "SHENANIGANS" filled the air and off they marched, golden robes flapping in the breeze, Kitania and Rairichi trying desperately to keep them all in line, and Lavi leading the charge with a glint in his eye and a demon potat at his heels.